Im at strip club and am horny
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
