dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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