I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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