I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
