You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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