So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Is it penis luge time yet?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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