Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
