I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He passed out mid-signature
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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