in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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