He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
