i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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