Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize