This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
