I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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