my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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