Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
It's shark week go big or go home
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
