but the lizard people decide everything anyway
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
