Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Randomize
