fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
