Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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