Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
