I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
