thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
