he was CRYING into my vagina
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
