Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
