I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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