What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
