i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
