I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
