So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
