i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
