I wanna bring you to show and tell
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
