So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize