I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
