I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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