that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
