Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
