she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
