So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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