her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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