Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize