My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
