We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
