gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
