I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
