yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Randomize
