I love black thongs
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
