Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
