Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Never underestimate the power of titties
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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