He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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