you would pick up someone in the library
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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