like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
