In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
