You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize