Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
It's just like the Real World with babies
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize