I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
