If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize