He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize