New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
