Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize