i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
