your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
