So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
